It only felt like four days, but it’s been four years. When I thought the end would never come it came faster than I expected. When I felt like nothing would get better, it did.
I use to be the girl that cried herself to sleep, locked herself in a dark room and let the night put her to sleep. I was the girl that wanted so hard to be known, be the girl every guy wanted, I wanted my life to be worth living. My mind went through more mood swings than a pregnant woman ever has by her second child. The constant worrying and nervous feeling I would get about certain sitations, the trust I lacked within myself, others, and life itself, and last but not least the depression that dictated six years of my life. I never thought I would make it out, but I did. I did it.
It gets better, these obstacles you are going through are going to go away. They are only in your way to prove your strength, you can’t give in and let them win. Think of these obstacles as a wall, and on the other side of that wall is what you’ve wanted. You can’t get through the wall, nor go around or under it, but you can go over it. You’ll have to climb the wall, or find a way over it but once you do get over it, it won’t ever matter again. That’s basically what I’m trying to say.
I use to think that because I left my old friends I’d never get new ones, I’d be alone all my life, etc. As a senior you begin to realize that none of that matters. In the end, the people you talked to freshman year are seriously not going to be there, so there is no point to stress about it as a freshman, honestly. Leave those friends, the friends that treat you badly, put you in bad situations, cause you anxiety, get rid of them. You’ll thank yourself later, believe me. Be a friendly person and go a different path, you’ll meet new people and you’ll realize that it was worth it.
Boyfriends and girlfriends should be the least of your worries. I’ve seen three-year high school relationships end because someone went to college. There is honestly no point in worrying about relationships because you will graduate, eventually, and your excuse to break up will be college. That relationship is not going to last. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t date, honestly it gives you more time to get to know yourself better and it gives you the oppportunity to meet tons of people and try a ton of new things.
As a senior you realize how different things are, and it’s honestly not too late to change things. Don’t end the year on bad terms, change it so you are able to say you were happy. I never thought I’d be happy, or where I am at right now but I am, and it’s because I wanted that change, and I fought for it. I got over my obstacle and did everything in my power to overcome it.
Things honestly get better, but if you are still doing the same routine nothing is going to change. Sacrifice your comort zone and make a change and you will slowly begin to notice how things are changing. Nothing happens over night, but if you start now believe me, something might be different tomorrow.