How do you compete with someone who takes the attention away from you. It might sound cocky but I do want attention, I want the attention of the only person on earth who’s attention matters to me. But how do I do that? I can’t compete with these other girls, I’m not what he dreams he could have, because I am me. He wants something more than me.
I’m not the type of girl a random Twitter account will post a picture of and say that I’m “slaying” or that I’m so perfect. I’m not the girls that you’ll see pictures of showing her boobs or butt and everyone talking about how great they are on those “iloveboobsdaily” accounts on Twitter, that were probably made by a middle school boy who probably doesn’t even know how to talk to a girl. My point is, how do you get the attention of the person you want when you’re just plain old you? There’s nothing great about me, physically and I know that. My freshman little sister is prettier than me, and has a better body than me, I know, I get reminded all the time. So why would anyone go for me? Why am I kidding myself?
The thing about us girls, the girls that keep to themselves, are so insecure, read books, are smart, and care about other things and avoid relationships is because we know. We are smart enough to know what happens with getting our hopes up. We know that there are girls out there that have more to offer, girls that say yes to pleasing you because they don’t care, we know that you want someone to just be that for you. We know you don’t want us. Because, we read books instead of wanting to party, we drink tea and coffee over alcohol, we fill our minds with knowledge instead of drugs, we will cook for you instead of making you buy us food, we like old fashion relationships instead of just having sex, we want something real and you just want someone who will give you what you want the second you ask. How do you compete with that? It really bugs me.
Do you ever go somewhere public like the fair, an amusement park, the mall, downtown or even to a local McDoanlds? Then you see a guy and you just hope he notices you, even if he’s a complete stranger because then it’ll make you feel good about yourself? But he doesn’t? Instead he checks out some girl walking behind you, that’s showing what more she has to offer than you? It’s ridiculous, it really is. I don’t want to compete anymore against the girls who are better than me, if I’m not enough for him then I won’t fight for his attention anymore. I’m not what he wants, okay. I’ll just keep to myself again.