A great loss.

It’s true when people say that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and that you should appreciate everyone in your life. I managed to lose one of the most important people in my life in just some days. My best friend told us the week of that she was moving, not out of state or country, but school. It’s not a big difference but it’s a change, a big one. She’s the friend I’ve always spent my mornings at school, and lunch with. She’s been my best friend since eighth grade and honestly I don’t know what I am going to do without her, literally. I feel like I’ve always depended on her for eveything, to keep me company, text me, talk to me, hang out with me, but now I’m literally left alone. I feel like this is good though, I’m trying to become more independant, so why not try it when I’m completely alone now? Especially in school.

It does suck losing someone like that, especially since so much can happen and change throughout the period of her abscence. I’m just scared to see what’s to come for me, who am I going to be friends with next, who am I going to hang out with from now, or new friends I’m going to encounter or opportunities. At this point I don’t know if I should be excited or scared. I’m just ready to see what happens.

P.S

A couple of my followers have requested me to continue writing but not on here. They want more elaborate writings or thoughts. I was thinking a book would be a good idea but honestly I do not want to commit to that and I feel like the only place I can and want to write in is here. So I thought a youtube channel would be more of a reasonable idea. I’m basically starting it so I can talk to you guys and be more elaborate, you guys will be able to  connect with me and get to know me more. I’m super excited for this because I really want to be able to help you guys and others, and even if only two people watch I don’t care, as long as I’ve helped them or changed the way they see things. That’s all that will make me happy. You guys can submit questions or topics about anything you need help with or my thoughts on to my twitter account or you can send me an email and once I get this started I’ll be more than happy to try and get to all of them. I love you all so much, thanks for inspiring me to inspire you and others, and for saving me.

-Take Care Cause I care.

Twitter: @KareBear_1116
Email: ramosk@students.goshenschools.org

My advice to YOU.

So let’s take a moment to breathe in the change of season and the change of life in general. In the past I use to mention the idea of how maybe at the moment nothing is different but when you look back everything is different, so I’m bringing that idea back today.

That depressed girl that started this blog, is now ending it here. I’m not going to stop blogging of course, but my depression era is now over. I overcame it after 5 years. Maybe deep inside there’s some of it left, there’s still some darkness somewhere in me, but for the most part I am completely happy. Maybe one of these days it will hit and I will cry, but because I know how to control it and bring myself back up it won’t be a big deal. I gained so much confidence in these years, I learned so much, and now I am vowing to helping others that have gone through what I’ve gone through. I am definately against bullying, suicide, and this generation.

I use to isolate myself from my family and friends, cry and lock myself in my room, think of death, I was mentally unhealthy. When I realized that it is all about me. It is all about YOU. Don’t worry about what other people have to say, worry about what you think. If you’re outfit is not comfortable change into something that is, if you don’t you’re only making yourself feel worse. If you’re hungry but are trying to lose weight, eat a freaking burger and enjoy it! But if you really are craving a salad, go ahead and eat one it’s your appetite. You like certain music than others do? Great! Cause it expresses you. You like a boy/girl that your friends think is ugly or weird, that’s even better for you, now you don’t have to worry about anyone else wanting him. Honestly it’s all about you. Everything you decide to do you’re doing it for yourself.

A way I learned to overcome mean comments was to give them a compliment. You hate my smile? Well I think you have such pretty eyes. Honestly, you don’t have to let the other persons negativity affect your attitude. Having a great attitude and not giving one flipping crap is what will boost your confidence. Do not be afraid to speak your mind and NEVER compare yourself to others because you’re probably better at something that they aren’t and you will ALWAYS be better than someone else at a lot of things. Honestly life is to be enojyed, you’re not here to live in hell. Going to school does not count ha. Yeah, that’s all I basically have to say. I am on your team and I have your back, that I promise you.

Take Care because I care <3

Love, myth or fact?

If you use to read my posts from the beginning, you’d know that I am a hopeless romantic. I want the kind of love that you see in movies or read in books. I always loved the idea of love and have always wanted my own love story. That all changed after opening my eyes and actually realizing how different this generation is now than it was back then. I don’t believe in love anymore.

I stopped believing in love when I realized how messed up it it in this generation. What’s so great about letting someone become a part of you if all they’re going to do is break you and leave you to put the pieces back together alone? Most boys don’t even love you for who you are or take the time to get to know you anymore, they’ll love you for how great you are in bed. They play 20 Questions until they realize they have some things in common with each other and learn about each other right away. It use to take days to get to know someone entirely. Just knowing everything about a person in less than 20 minutes is dumb, and I can tell you that, that is how long those two will be together. These days couples kiss before they start dating and have sex after a month or so, and call it love. I hate that. Boys use to ask girls on dates, and girls use to have more self respect. Boys knocked on your door instead of waiting for you to come out and walk to the car yourself. They risked meeting your parents and they’d open the car door for you. I hate how it’s okay to assume that couples who date more than six months have already had sex. I hate how we have this idea that love can be all planned out, but it won’t ever be like in the movies or books because that’s fiction, in reality you have to try & put effort. Nicholas Sparks isn’t writing the story of your life, you are. That’s what’s wrong with people these days they have their expectations too high and don’t realize what’s going on in front of them. John Cusack will not be outside your window, playing your favorite song from a boombox, Ryan Gosling won’t write you 365 letters, and prince charming won’t ever show up on a white horse.  I stopped believing in love when things like; cheating, friends with benefits, one night stands, turn offs, expectations, hoes & players became a thing. When the person you’re with judges you for your past and uses it against you instead of accepting you. When there is a lack of trust & communication. Love literally has no significant meaning to it anymore, it’s overrated. Someone gave me a reason to stop believing and to stop searching for it and so that’s how it will be until someone proves me wrong and shows me that true love still exists in this messed up generation.

For now I am done with searching for it and dont with boys. Eventually something or someone will show up and might change my mind, but for now I just want to focus on me. Love sucks now a days, it’s not real.

Poetry.

I am no poet, nor do I understand the structure of it. I don’t know the difference between a proffessional poem or a crappy one. That’s why I like it because, no matter how good or sucky it is, or if a proffessional or an amateur wrote it, I relate to them. Well most of them. On twitter I like reading the kind that young people write because they have a more recent experience with certain situations and they’re just relateable. Most of them inspire me and change the way I see things. I honestly don’t care how good anyone is or whatever, I just like words that make sense and prove a good point.

One said, “I thought life is unfair. Until someone said ‘Life is fair because it’s unfair to everyone.'”

This is probably one of my favorites so far because it’s so accurate. If someone would have told this to me earlier I probably wouldn’t have had as many problems as I did in the past. I use to always say life was out to get me, it was naever fair to me, but honestly it’s never fair to anyone. The world is an imperfect place. Things go wrong all the time, and we just have to learn from them or laugh it off. Like they say, a day without a smile or laugh is a day wasted.

This is probably a quote I am going to live by from now on, and when people are down saying their life sucks I’ll tell them this. We’re literally in all this together and I love that. Some may say this quote isn’t even poetry, whatever. I don’t know anything about poetry so don’t come at me. What I do think though, is that poetry has a message to give, a lesson to teach, some inspiration to inspire, and words that someone can relate to, to be saved. That is all, carry on with your life’s and have nice day. Love you all.

 

Liebster Award ♡

Thank you so much  http://gadiskp.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for this award. Super super exicted! :)

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Here we go!

To give someone a Liebster Award you have to follow these rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their page(s).
2. Proudly display the award banner on your page.
3. List eleven facts about yourself.
4. Answer the questions the award-giver asked you and make 11 more for your nominees.
5. List your nominees.

11 facts about me, myself, and I. 

1) I love the idea of old, vintage, and classic. Anything from the 30’s-the80’s I am in love with. Elvis Presley to Audrey Hepburn. The way they dressed, their furniture, music, places teenagers would hang out at. I love going to places like that, especially in my town.

2) If you knew me well you would never think I am the type to be into the arts, but to be honest I love musicals, ballets, and orchestra concerts. I grew up around those things for a while and it just really catches my attention.

3) My favorite movies of all time would have to be old movies. I call them “The Classics” like, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Grease, La Bamba, The Sandlot, etc. I also love comedy, action, and romance in modern movies.

4) I do not eat the white cream in Oreo’s. Is that weird?

5) I love to read so much, but I am very picky when it comes to choosing a book.

6) My favorite seasons of the year are Fall & Winter. Even though I hate the cold and snow I will forever love the great vibes these two seasons bring to me. Especially winter, even in the summer I’ll be singing Christmas carols. No joke.

7) I love putting thought into everything. I normally buy presents or cards, but I really enjoy putting thought into all my presents whether I’m actually buying one or making one. I love getting creative.

8) My favorite stores to shop at are; Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, and Windsor. BUT! I am not afraid to admit that I am one of those girls that actually enjoys shopping at Goodwill or any of those stores. I love going in their and tearing down the whole store to find things I can actually wear that are my style or finding things I can literally use to make something out of it, like jeans and mkaing them into shorts.

9) I am a hopeless romantic. I love the idea of love, I say idea because I don’t believe in it anymore, not in this generation. I love how it is in movies and books. I love the idea of simple and comfortable.

10) I love stargazing. The stars and moon, the company of the dark sky is just all wonderful to me.

11) I believe that every moment should be enjoyed and filled with joy, laughter, and happiness. No matter what you do with your lfie tha day just enjoy it and enjoy the company of those around you, because we only live once, and that is literally the last time you will ever experience a moment exactly like the one you were in.

 

Q&A time :D 

1) What is your motivation to write? 

My motivation is save someone out there and to save myself. I write what I believe and about my struggles to inspire others and to save myself from going in the wrong direction again.

2) any favorite movies or music. 

Favorite Movies: Peter Pan, Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Breakfast Club, The Parent Trap, Tangled, The Mortal Instruments, and The Sandlot.
Favorite Music: Bruno Mars, 5 Seconds of Summer, Elvis Presley, The Weeknd, Demi Lovato, and Fun.

3) If you just won a million dollars what would you do with them? 

Well this point of my life has been about renewing myself, I’d spend it on new wardrobe, new room makeover, spoil some of my favorite people in my life, donate to causes/charities,  buy food, and save up for college.

4) Do you have a role model?

Demi Lovato is my role model, she has been through the worst and felt the same way I felt with her, and I relate so much to her writings and her music. I don’t have a personal role model that I actually know in person becasue everyone disspoints.

5) What is your biggest dream?

My biggest dream is to prove everyone who told me otherwise, wrong. Become who I want to be, be happy, and help others to become better as well.

6) When you are sad, stressed, depressed, what will you do? 

Well for sure write about it on my blog, that’s number one. But stay strong, tell myself it will get better, avoided pointing fingers, and just make myself some coffee and watch my favorite movie.

7) If you had to move to a different country, where would you live?

Definately Europe! It has always been a dream of mine to go there and one day I will go.

 

Here is my list of amazing bloggers that I nominate for this award. 

1) http://aminnieblog.wordpress.com/

2) http://natalieslovelyblog.wordpress.com

3) http://heartsbiggerthenthesun.wordpress.com

4) http://blackfaeries1stblog.wordpress.com/

5) http://caffeinatedelfling.wordpress.com/

 

Here are your questions: 

1) What is your pet-peeve?

2) What inspires you to write?

3) What is your favorite holiday, and why?

4) What is your dream date?

5) Favorite memory you wish you could replay?

6) Favorite food?

7) What do you fear?

8) Favorite blog post you’ve ever posted?

9) If you could live in any time period, which would you live in?

10) Number one thing you have to have with you or on you before leaving your house?

11) What can’t you live without?

GOOD LUCK! :)

I hate that I love you.

“You want to know what’s wrong? The fact that I have had a crush on you for three years now and I can’t do anything about it. No matter how hard I’ve tried getting over you, something always brings me right back. I don’t want to like you anymore. It’s tiring, stressing, and depressing. It sucks liking someone so much when they don’t feel that same way about you. It sucks when you put so much effort into the friendship for the other one to not care. It sucks that I can’t get over you no matter how hard I try. And to be honest, I don’t even know what it is about you that has me feeling this way. Your humor? smile? personality? just you entirely? I don’t know. I have been trying to figure that out for the past three years and nothing comes to my mind. I can’t keep doing this to myself anymore, it’s stressing and I’m tired of it I really am. I don’t know how important I really am to you or anything because this whole time I’ve convinced myself that maybe one day things might go right but they never did or will. It’s been three years and I’m done with this, I can’t pretend anymore and I can’t do this to myself anymore.. I know you say I’m you’re best friend and I say you’re mine but are we really? I mean we talk about the most privatest things ever but tell me, are we honestly REAL best friends? Cause I don’t even know. I’ve always been there when you needed someone, I alway made sure you were okay, stayed up late talking to you on school nights or weekends until you fell asleep first. I like you so much but I’m tired of convincing myself that things will change one day because they won’t.” 

This is a text I have saved in my notes on my phone. I  wrote it for a reason, that reason being to send it to my Knight in Shining Armor? Remember him? Well this month marks the third year of this continuous crush I’ve had on him. I’m trying to get over him, and I vowed to myself to send this to him the next time he texts me asking, “What’s wrong.” I don’t know where things will go from there but it’s for my own good. I need to learn to stand up for myself and this is a major time to do that. I’m fighting this battle and I WILL WIN. 

Saying no to fear.

As most of you know, I had a boyfriend in the past. We dated for about a year, and it was an off and on thing. It was probably the most confusing thing ever and most of you were left dissapointed in the decisions I had made in leaving him and going back to him. Well I have news for you, it’s been about two in a half months since we broke up. This is one of those things that happened this summer that I wanted to talk about. 

As you know I am a person that hates saying no. I’m scared to dissapoint and not give the people what they want. I  was weak and never did anything for myself. So During my own recovery camp I taught myself to say no. My ex and me broke up the week before I left to Florida, which was the last week of June. My trip to Florida was sort of a getaway from my life and problems, I say sort of because my major problem went on vacation with me. My family. The point is that while in Florida I paid no attention to my life back in Indiana, not even my ex. When I came back I seriously realized it was over and we never did get back together. There was a point when I started to miss him a little bit, and so I saw him. It was a stupid decision but a good eye opener. I had realized how much I missed and loved him but that wasn’t the point anymore. We were broken up and missing each other was just a part of moving on. Just because we loved each other didn’t mean we had to stay together anymore. If it didn’t work out the last four times we dated, what would make this time different? It was the same thing over and over, and I was getting tired. 

The last week of summer my best friend invited me over to her house for the weekend. I agreed to go especially because I didn’t work that weekend. Here’s where my braveness kicked in. After she told me she couldn’t wait I texted her these exact words:
I’ll go, but I won’t go anywhere that involves being around Miguel, just saying. 
She tried convinving me to go, but I kept refusing because I knew that if I went, we’d be together and convince each other that we should get back. I wasn’t going to do that to myself and I won’t do it ever again. She was really proud of me and promised we’d  hang out together another time. I was pretty proud of myself, and happy, even though I didn’t do anything that weekend I was happy. It’s all about setting limits on yourself and telling yourself “no” for YOUR own good.