As most of you know, I had a boyfriend in the past. We dated for about a year, and it was an off and on thing. It was probably the most confusing thing ever and most of you were left dissapointed in the decisions I had made in leaving him and going back to him. Well I have news for you, it’s been about two in a half months since we broke up. This is one of those things that happened this summer that I wanted to talk about.
As you know I am a person that hates saying no. I’m scared to dissapoint and not give the people what they want. I was weak and never did anything for myself. So During my own recovery camp I taught myself to say no. My ex and me broke up the week before I left to Florida, which was the last week of June. My trip to Florida was sort of a getaway from my life and problems, I say sort of because my major problem went on vacation with me. My family. The point is that while in Florida I paid no attention to my life back in Indiana, not even my ex. When I came back I seriously realized it was over and we never did get back together. There was a point when I started to miss him a little bit, and so I saw him. It was a stupid decision but a good eye opener. I had realized how much I missed and loved him but that wasn’t the point anymore. We were broken up and missing each other was just a part of moving on. Just because we loved each other didn’t mean we had to stay together anymore. If it didn’t work out the last four times we dated, what would make this time different? It was the same thing over and over, and I was getting tired.
The last week of summer my best friend invited me over to her house for the weekend. I agreed to go especially because I didn’t work that weekend. Here’s where my braveness kicked in. After she told me she couldn’t wait I texted her these exact words:
I’ll go, but I won’t go anywhere that involves being around Miguel, just saying.
She tried convinving me to go, but I kept refusing because I knew that if I went, we’d be together and convince each other that we should get back. I wasn’t going to do that to myself and I won’t do it ever again. She was really proud of me and promised we’d hang out together another time. I was pretty proud of myself, and happy, even though I didn’t do anything that weekend I was happy. It’s all about setting limits on yourself and telling yourself “no” for YOUR own good.